Friendliness among social awkwardness?

by brianp411

So, as I’ve mentioned in a few posts now, I’ve been eating healthier. I was at the cafeteria at my school picking out a plate of salad, which I was just getting used to and I decided to choose the raspberry vinaigrette as a salad dressing since all the other options for salad dressing were either too high in fat or sodium. Anyway, I head over and find a place to sit. There’s plenty of people around but I just find a quiet place by myself so I can eat quickly and go back to studying. I’m eating this salad, and it’s beginning to churn my stomach because 1) I hadn’t eaten vegetables, I mean really eating vegetables in a decade or so and 2) that vinaigrette was plain awful! This kid comes up and sits at my table. He starts asking my name and exchanging introductions. He says he’s a Communications major and he starts talking incessantly to me. After a while, instead of being annoyed (because I wanted to just book it), I started to talk to him. He was talking to me about relationships and how he only went on one date with this person and how he quickly grows attached to people. For some reason, I opened up to him and said the same thing too.

Thinking about it, I quickly lust after girls but quickly develop something more without looking at that persons flaws. Well, maybe it’s because I believe I like somebody, and chances are, I probably do, but I don’t give it time. I don’t find those quirks or things in people that cause me to think of them in another way. I find the things that I like and I act impulsively sometimes. My mom did always say I do things without thinking!

Anyway, he then asks for my Facebook. I don’t notice anything peculiar about him, I mean looking back on it now, he did have a funny voice but I never pinpointed anything. He then tells me he has Asbergers. I don’t know how to react to that. I mean, I kind knew what it was but I pry a little to understand it better. He tells me he sees it as a blessing and a curse. How (coming from a family of mentally ill) could you see that as a blessing? He tells me it helps him have a thick skin. I thought about that for a minute and thought about what he said “I guess these relationships weren’t meant to be.” Geez man, that’s weird of you to say, as I was thinking that in my head. He then asked me for my Facebook and gave me his number a few days later.

Well, it’s officially been a week since I met the kid and he sends me a message saying that he needs someone to talk to. I’m annoyed because he keeps incessantly messaging me and I’m trying to study for an upcoming exam and I don’t want to deal with it so I ignore what he has to say. He then sends me a message saying that he’s gay and then he hopes I’m not creeped out by it. I didn’t talk to him for a few days after that. It’s not that I have any sort of problems with homosexuals, I just think that was so totally weird. Why the hell would he tell me this?

So, now here he is talking to me again. I don’t know what to say to him – I act friendlier to him because I know what it’s like to not have friends. I tell him I don’t care if he’s gay and then tell him about one of my upcoming exams. Well, what a nice kid, he wishes me luck on my upcoming exam and asks me to keep him posted so he can find out how I did later that night. The kid really is nice and I find it admirable that he’s in a Communication major considering his condition but I don’t want to patronize him. He’s telling me about these guys he’s planning on dating and I just basically agree to whatever he’s saying. I’m not really interested in what he has to say.

I don’t know man, this kid irks me cuz he messages me so much, but he is a nice kid and I don’t want him to feel like I’m abandoning him cuz he’s gay or because he’s a little socially awkward and he keeps pestering people. Maybe he needs a friend or maybe it’s his illness causing him to not realize that there are boundaries, but I honestly don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to block him and avoid this kid but another part of me wants to reach out him because it’s a cold world without friends and support there to guide you. I guess time will have to be the deciding factor in this.