briansjournal1

uncensored, unfiltered, thoughts

Month: April, 2013

Broken into

I know I haven’t written on this in a while but today I seriously need to vent. I have so much work and studying to do for some upcoming exams and I can’t even focus on them because of something that happened today in the morning. I’m already kind of late because I slept in for an extra 20 mins. because I was up late last night working on some homework. I head up the hill to go to my car to go to school and I find all the doors unlocked and all my c0mpartments open. I see stuff lifted that wasn’t like that the night before and I quickly realize I’ve been robbed. My GPS is gone, my tire pressure gauge, a flash drive with music on it and a couple of misc. items. I figure I should call the cops and report it but what good is that going to do? They’re not going to get back my stuff and I just decide that going to class is more important than dealing with this right now. When I get out of class, I check the trunk to make sure nothing’s been robbed there, and I see my expensive hydraulic car jack robbed.

The amount of car items robbed leads me to suspect it’s one of the asshole neighbor kids who think it’s cool to race their P.O.S Honda’s and everything. But, I swear, I’m not a violent person but any stretch of the imagination but if I catch the person who did this, I will bash their head in until they can’t see straight. You don’t go into someone elses property and steal their hard earned shit. These kids who live on my street are all bums, bringing baby drama and BS occasionally to my peaceful and good neighborhood and wreaking havoc ever since I was a kid.

I think about it logically and is it worth going to jail because some kids robbed $300 worth of items from my car, no, but if they were the ones to do it, I would honestly not hesitate to enact my revenge either on their cars or themselves personally.

I’m just leaving this post frustrated and unable to focus on my work. Now, I have to always double check that my doors are locked, park as close to my house as I can (which is a nightmare because these asshole kids take up all the parking spots in front of my house, thus forcing me to park further away from my house with less security), and they escape with a GPS full of addresses of people I care about or have visited.

Short Update

This is going to be a short update to what’s going on with me. The reason for it being short are as follows 1) I’m hungry 2) I got work early tomorrow 3) I got homework 4) I’m frustrated.

Basically, this acquaintance turned friend of mine had sold me an old computer a few days ago on Tuesday the 9th. I paid $100 bucks for it and it was an old Optiplex Dell computer. I don’t know what I was thinking when I bought it but I thought because I could use it to prevent me from spending a fortune on a complete upgrade I’d be good. This friend of mine (his name is Jeremy btw) did present me with what it looked like on the inside. Basically, it stopped working a few days ago and he was willing to accept a return. I opened the computer up to try to fix it and see what my upgrade options were should I get it working again. Well, I get it working again and I really realize how limited this machine is. I actually bought a solid state drive the other day and I wanted to put it in there and even though it runs SATA, the motherboard would not recognize it because it’s too old. I started having buyers remorse and I wanted to trade back with Jeremy so I could get my money back. I put everything back together and it would have been perfectly OK to sell because it’s not broken at all. I offered to show him how it was working and he basically said “fuck off, I’m not accepting returns. I’m moving out of my house so I need the money” Obviously, he didn’t quite say that. That’s my overdramatization but basically what leads me to suspect that he didn’t want to do the return besides his own personal reasons and him feeling that I just had buyers remorse and I wasn’t entitled to anything, was the fact that he was moving out and getting an apartment and he has been begging on Facebook for someone to move in with him for a while now. He needs money and he needs help and thus, he wanted to hang on to that $100 as much as possible otherwise he probably wouldn’t be able to move in despite me giving him time to pay me back.

So basically, I’m now left with a old piece of shit computer just sitting here that I paid 100 bucks for to use as a paperweight. He says I could sell it for $100 easily because it contains Windows 7 Enterprise and then I told him anyone who bought that might think that the OS is pirated because a lot of people do that to make a quick buck. He instantly became offended  and that’s when the cream of the crop happened. This newly elected member turned officer (2 days in) who I thought would be a great member and leader for this club quit just like that and removed himself from an event he agreed on doing. I told him this was unprofessional and he was involving our personal disagreement in the club and that’s wrong but he didn’t care. He ignored me and then told me that I made changes to the constitution by myself that he didn’t read. He also reminded me that he didn’t sign anything and so he could do whatever he wanted and leave when he wanted even though I had a short clause that said that all members or officers could be removed for not meeting their responsibility (which in this case would have been giving us 2 weeks notice). It was also stated that it was important that officers and members read the constitution before joining. Therefore, technically it was on him for not doing what he was supposed to.

Man IDK. Part of the reason I enjoy this blog is because I don’t have to make sense when I talk and I feel like this is one of those times.

I called this the BCC Tech Club and we’ve run into so many fucking issues of late! I’ve wanted to give up,  I’ve had huge member inactivity, officer removals, etc. I won’t give up on this organization or its mission though. IDC if it takes me to the edge.

Basically now where it stands, I’m going to have to rewrite the whole constitution or at least major parts with another officer before this event on Thursday which leaves us with 4 days to make entire changes to this club so the members know what’s expected of them and what the rules are. We’re planning on having a  quiz on the constitution to test peoples reading, knowledge, and acceptance of its bylaws and terms. We also need to rewrite it so that it looks more official with amendments, sections, articles, and the whole business.

This is going to be a rough few weeks with this thing. I wish I could start over but you know what? If the club doesn’t succeed here at this campus than I would have learned something. Without a plan you’re nothing, and pick the right people you hang out with!

That’s it for tonight. So, yeah, not really a short update but meh, I tried. Now to finish some homework and have some peanut butter and jelly.

PS: I’ve officially quit working out to bulk up and get muscular. I’ve let go of a lot of guilt I’ve had with it because I’ve realized I’m not that into it and without 100% dedication and motivation I would not have gotten the results I wanted. It also eats up too much money when you’re consuming $3,500 calories a day. Right now I’m trying to focus my money on paying for summer classes I got to take and building a newer computer that I can be proud of. It will be my second build ever. Go me! 😀

Leadership Conference and Reorganization

I’ve been away for four days at the National Conference for Student Leaders in Boston, Massachusetts. I got back home today at noon and took a ridiculously long nap due to my roommates incessantly loud snoring (more on that later).

It all started when I signed up for the conference on the day of registration. I had been waiting forever for my job to approve me for vacation hours so that I could get approved time off to be able to take this trip since retail seems to assume that your weekends will forever belong to them for $8 a hour. They finally approved me ON THE DAY of the registration so I thought I was going to miss my chance to attend my first ever conference. I was very fortunate that I didn’t miss the boat!

Fast forward a little bit to 2 days before the conference and I’m starting to panic. I don’t know what to wear, where the conference is exactly, if people are going to carpool (since parking in Boston is incredibly expensive!), and what time we should get ready. Our advisor sends us a quick email addressing these concerns but nothing about carpooling. The thing is, we had briefly discussed carpooling at our Student Senate meeting a week prior to the event (which is way too late if you ask me) and everybody was complaining about how their cars were too small. Since I didn’t hear anything from anybody about it till the day of the conference  I assumed we weren’t doing that and everyone was going to find their own way.

It’s the morning before the conference and I’m sleeping in till 10 because I feel like I have plenty of time to get some stuff ready. I didn’t realize how much stuff I’d really need until later and consequently I had to rush like a madman. It was incredibly hectic and stressful! I was running to the ATM to get cash for parking, I couldn’t find my card, then I headed home and I couldn’t find some other stuff and the whole morning was like this. Finally, I quickly pull up some directions and decide I’m going to take the train. If I park at the train station parking lot, it would only cost $3 a day for a total of $12 bucks total, way cheaper than the $32 a day price tag of the hotel parking. By this time it’s already 11:15 and I’m supposed to be on the train at 11:45. I have 30 minutes to drive 36 miles up to Brockton, find a parking spot, get on the train, and get my ticket all combined with the weight of 3 bags and a laptop computer that I have in my hand. This was a stupid idea to begin with but I wanted to do this train thing because it would save me a lot of money on parking and I wouldn’t have to worry about directions. I end up getting there 5 minutes to late and the train takes off. They next train isn’t till 1:18 and even the one that’s a few cities away takes off at 12:45  which would put me way past the time of my first keynote presentation.

Finally, I just decide to drive there and that’s when I see six missed calls and three texts from people who waited on me for 20 minutes asking if I wanted to carpool. Man, I was angry and embarrassed at the same time! Why the hell did they wait last minute to bring this up?! I thought we weren’t doing that because no one talked about it! This was surely a breakdown in communication. You don’t just tell people that last minute! As for feeling embarrassed, yeah, I felt awful. I kept these guys waiting for 20 minutes, while they kept calling me not knowing where I was. That’s incredibly embarrassing for anybody. You just end up looking like an asshole because of stuff like that.

Anyway, I’m driving along and things are going relatively well until my GPS keeps recalculating me. Like any big city, Boston keeps changing its street names and its landscape keeps changing so the GPS is freaking out. I’m trying to stay composed but eventually I’m just incredibly pissed at the city for being the cause of me being lost. Not student representative worthy behavior at all! I end up getting lost in the garage trying to find the exit and not having been in a garage in a while I didn’t realize that the exit would just take me down a level. The level you begin with is always the highest level and if you go up, you’re actually going down. I eventually make it to the lobby all flustered and angry and I go up to check-in, not realizing my advisor had already checked us in and gotten our keys. They told me they couldn’t find my reservation and I was about ready to go off on them. I finally see my advisor and the rest of my group, she hands me my key and I couldn’t be happier to just finally be in my bed. Turns out I wasn’t as late as I thought and I was able to join everyone for the keynote presentation.

So, now finally for the conference part, I really enjoyed all my seminars. Every one of the presentations were really inspiration and full of good information. One of them was called: The Single Technique to Improve College Success which taught us mindfulness training, which for those of you don’t know is composed of breathing exercises and exercises to separate your thoughts from your mind. Call it weird, but it takes a lot out of the equation when you don’t have to get distracted or bogged down by thoughts while you’re trying to listen or are working on something. This technique is used by large companies like Google and Intel.

Another seminar I attended was one by this presenter called Hoan Do. He was funny and spoke very well. He had two seminars, but one that I particularly enjoyed was called “How to Stop Setting Goals and Start Achieving Them.” One thing I really loved about that presentation was something he said and it went like this: “The point of a goal isn’t to achieve it, it’s the changes that happens as you put 100% into working towards it that matter. Achieving it is just an added benefit.” That really inspired me and some of the tips of setting goals like being very specific and using the analogy of a blurry picture and GPS were excellent. They really stuck in my mind.

I think the reason these seminars and this entire conference went so well was not only because they were very informative but because they were engaging. Every one of them had us doing activities, talking to other people, laughing, asking questions, and sharing ideas. I think they all did a really good job in keeping us prepared.

One thing I became ashamed about was my tardiness to a lot of the events due to me being confused as to where they were, being lazy in waking up, etc. That really must have looked bad and I felt like that was particularly embarrassing to myself and the school. I don’t want to put myself down or sound paranoid, but I honestly feel like some of my group mates must have said something about that among themselves. I don’t blame them.

Anyway, as for the reorganization part of this post. About a few months ago, me and these 2 computer science kids started this club called the BCC Technology Club (BCC standing for our community college). It would be open to all students and the open web (so anyone on the internet). We wanted to create a space of learning and helping each other where people could teach other technology stuff and make learning technology fun through several different activities and events. Fast forward to today and I’ve put in a good amount of work into the club and my other officers have been deadbeats. I took the position of treasurer out of respect for my friend who came up with the idea and because I think it would aid in my accounting experience for which I hope to get internships for in the future. I came so close to quitting the last few days but I never did because I truly believe in our mission. I wanted a club that would serve people and help people become more interested in technology and give them something they could take home with them. I wanted a club that members could truly put on their resumes. We’ve only had 2 events so far which were discussion based and none of them were remarkable. Our turnouts have been deplorable and by June, the Student Senate will be asking for a report on how many events we did and their turnouts. With so little events and turnouts, we could lose our funding. I feel like some of my other officers are sick of hearing this and think its a joke, but it’s really not. This whole club has come close to failing because of the members lack of motivation and participation and the same with my officers. The fucked up part is they both truly believe in the mission and want to help but they don’t take the actions necessary to do that. That’s what hurts me the most. So, I’ve called a meeting on Tuesday of this week with them and our advisor to reorganize. This reorganization might involved the removal of some officers and preparation of new ones. This might leave hard feelings with some people and that’s the last thing I want. But ultimately, it just boils down to business and they still have the ability to be kept on as members if they wish to contribute.

Overall, the conference was great and I learned a lot. I can’t wait to go to more.

As for the club, I hope to really see it succeed and help a lot of people at our school and wherever. I don’t want this idea to die.

**I’ll update this on the deets of the conference, my roommates, and all that jazz later in future posts**

Feel free to share any thoughts or comments on this particular post. If you are part of any student organizations on your campus, or if you are a leader of any sort or have ever started a club, I want to hear from you! What’s the most challenging part of your job? How do you get students to participate in activities you plan on having? How do you deal with difficult coworkers?