Fresh new feelings of anger and sadness today. It’s my first official day off and I just realized that it’s my last day off from school. I’m not having much success making new friends or meeting new people so here I am at sadville again. I feel like whatever conversations I have with people are artificial and weak and that I’m just angry and sad about this situation and at myself. I know these feelings are temporary and they’ll pass but I hate feeling them. They’re so freaking distracting. I feel like I have no control of myself sometimes. I just want to escape the pain that comes from all this. These highs and lows are none like I’ve ever experienced. I could have gone weeks feeling great before something stressful came in to make things difficult but it’s like I can’t seem to enjoy something for more than a day.
This really blows.